I’m in stitches

Consent form: “drug and knife me.”

Enema nurse: “I can’t find a way in.”

Anaesthetist’s needle: “Let’s add to the landfill.”

I’m in stitches.

I is teh smart

Someone pinched my chimney.

But, I is teh smart: graduated from quality university!

Crap day for Devon. Er, crap day for Devon. Sad, too.